expectation clouds the surface of the message
analysis pierces the tension
waving its reaching
coming up with little more than what is now obvious.

hesitation is prominent
though willingness is strong
I've thrown away most of the icons
and sold the cheap gold & stone.

recent attempts have been fruitful
though anxiety still persists
opportunity to face it
is avoided at best.

this residual dust I see
is fallout from your Manhattan project
all matter gathered lightly fluttering together
mostly settled as snow on the ground.

the beauty that ensues
eerily suggests a connection
imperceptible by the ignorant eye
to hate sorrow bickering & flippant expectation

that does not override the good memories that were
which is why the bad ones burn
As you found I was not a plug & play bride
with you I could have never been satisfied

denied myself for a feeling
clouded the perception of misrepresentation
fronted by a charming smile
cleverly hidden is the carious core

fool me once shame on you,
fool me twice shame on me,
fool me thrice that shall not be.

I decided that in summer of 2006
since your hauntings have ceased to exist
yet you have spread your disease
situationally fixating it in my ability to. . . (commit)

which you do not deserve credit to claim
that is my own experience and gut reaction
falling out from our Manhattan
I'll find a way to rebuild in my own way,

no matter how long it takes.